Miss Brinlee's Birth

Okay - I finally put my sweet Brinlee down long enough to hopefully get her birth story finished and captured. "They" (who is they anyway) say you cant spoil a newborn and I sure hope that's true because I snuggle her every second I have a chance - I know how fast this time goes by.  I have written this in bits and pieces over the course of the past week so I apologize in advance for its length and any typos, no proof reading here :)  While a birth story may seem insignificant to some, I think they are important to remember and give thanks over; after all, its how our sweet Brinlee joined our family and I never want to forget the blessing of her coming into our lives.  

Brinlee's birth "story" really began on Wed. Oct. 30.  For the few nights leading up to her birth day (Nov. 2) I was up from about 2-6:30 each night with erratic, yet painful contractions.  Each night I almost said "Its time" and then around 6:30 am they would spread out and eventually dissipate leaving me exhausted for the day, with about 30 minutes to drink a cup of coffee (or two) before Pax was awake.  I walked each day, downloaded an app to time contractions and just stayed keenly aware of my body, yet carried on with life as usual.  The hopeless feeling of being so close to meeting your little one yet having NO control over it, left me feeling a little down and out.  The last week I was so ready to not be pregnant anymore...I was willing to try everything to get her out.  I had bought a Halloween costume for her which I secretly hoped she would get to wear - a newborn size snow white.  She didn't like it I guess because she decided not to come on Halloween :) Regardless, we used Halloween as an opportunity to do a lot of walking and truth be told - it was our last fun thing we did as a family of 3 so I think it ended up working out perfectly.

Friday night (Nov. 1) Matthew came home to a wife sitting on the couch all dressed up with no where to go.  I'm not sure why I felt the need to shower and get ready to go "somewhere" but I did, so he suggested we go grab dinner (if this leads you to believe I don't normally shower and get ready each day than you would be right:)).  It was about 6 pm and I was having erratic contractions, they were about 7- 8 minutes a part and manageable so I just thought it was pre labor and had nothing to worry about.  Throughout dinner my contractions progressively got closer together and stronger.  I was gripping the table and had little to no appetite (I'm sure people around me thought I was a weirdo).  We kinda rushed through dinner, I made a sentimental plug that this was more than likely our last time eating out as the three of us and called my parents to alert them that this "could be the night".  Call it instinct or intuition but my parents decided to go ahead and come to our house - it was a Friday night so no work the next day... and at the least we would get to have breakfast together the next morning if Brinlee didn't come.  When they got to the house my contractions were about 5 and a half minutes a part and we pretty much decided we would head to the hospital soon.  I was good and comfortable when not having a contraction but couldn't and didn't want to talk when having one.  I'd been contracting for hours and as the evening went on they seemed to be changing.  I was so so worried that we would go to the hospital too early and I would be sent home.  I knew that would devastate me so I wanted to know for sure I was in labor.  Matthew even googled "how to check yourself" in an attempt to make me feel better but I quickly shot that idea down! (are you kidding me?!?!) I had some anxiety about certain things I had really prayed about this 2nd labor and delivery.  I really wanted to have her in the morning, I really wanted to go into labor naturally and not be induced, I didn't want to tear and I wanted her to nurse well.  I was all worried about that stuff hence the reason I was stalling so bad heading out the door - I was so emotional and being weird about leaving.  Paxton was still awake and don't ask me why, but I felt the need to stick around the house and put him to bed before heading to the hospital.  I was feeling all sentimental and in my contracting pregnant body I got him ready for bed and kissed his sweet little head goodnight.  It felt so final... Throughout this time period and as we were getting ready to load up in the car - I noticed my contractions had started spreading out :( 10 pm rolled around and sure enough they were now around 10-15 minutes apart.  I was so frustrated.  My mom and Matthew basically told me to go to bed, get rest and wait it out.  So I did. Only I went to bed fully dressed, with my make up still on, slept on the outside of the blankets and crashed. ( I really wanted her to come, I guess staying clothed and ready to go up'd my chances)      

2:30 a.m (same time as the previous 4 nights) I was woken up by pain like no other. NO OTHER.  I didn't even have to time the contractions... I knew they were close, strong and that we needed to leave soon.  Thank goodness my parents were already at the house - we woke them up to say goodbye - and off we went.  I am so glad we had waited to go and I listened to my body.  Those 4 and a half hours of good, restful sleep I got were literally a gift from God.  We live about 30 minutes from the hospital and dear Lord - the contractions.  All I could do to get through them was hold Matthews hand and close my eyes.  I am a HUGE fan of epidurals.  I would not choose to go through pain if I have an option not to so I was border line freaking out that the contractions were so strong and close together.  With Pax, my water broke and I had to have Pitocin to jump start labor so I was already at the hospital and able to get my epidural quickly with him.  We got to the hospital around 3:30 am and after getting through a rough contraction right when we walked in the doors, Matthew wheel chaired me to the labor and delivery desk and they whisked me into triage.   Let me just say - being in active labor in a triage room where they want you to lay in a bed and wait... sucks.  Once evaluated by my nurse Kate (irony in the name) at 4:30 (an hour later - I swear we were the only ones there, not sure why it took so long) I was 5cm, completely thinned out, zero station and in active labor. Words cannot explain how happy I was.  "You're not going anywhere" is what Kate said, yes! 

The pain. My goodness.  I think I asked about an epidural like 50 times.  I am not one of those people who takes pride in the pain or labor.  I wanted an epidural and I wanted to sleep or read comfortably while waiting for my body to do its thing.  This whole breathing through the contractions, worst pain in my life business was not cool.  I was moved to a room where they tried for an hour to get blood and an iv started.  I have "little veins" and "thick skin" so it took 5 tries and 4 busted vessels for them to get what they needed - all while I had to "lay still" through contractions minutes a part and answer 50 million questions as they were admitting me.  Seriously people... leave the laboring woman alone because I promise I don't even think I was processing what they were asking me. "Have you ever had polio? Yes... you have? oh wait no, I don't know ask him" Is about how that process went. As I was finishing one contraction I had just a few minutes to rest before I felt the next one coming on.  Matthew and my mom were great.  They let me squeeze their hand as hard as I wanted and kept the room calm and quiet until I could get an epidural.

*Side note funny* My mom had come up to the hospital about an hour after us and when she went to the check in desk to find out where I was she got a text - and it was a farting ringtone.  Yes, you read that right... my lovely husband and dad changed her text message alert to a fart and when she was at the desk it went off and SHE DIDN'T KNOW it was her phone.  The nurses, I'm sure, thought it was her... she was confused and wouldn't you know... it kept going off while I was in labor and was making me laugh - which HURT!  I went from laughing to being pissed because it hurt so bad - made Matthew change it back :) Its funny looking back now though.  

I did not know this before but it order to get an epidural they have to have your labs back (hence the need to draw blood) and a full bag of iv fluid in your system.  Once that was done, which took another hour,  at around 6am - the anesthesiologist walked into my room (cue Angels singing).  I was SO ready.  I had tolerated labor for a while, but that was not a part of my plan and I was ready to be able to relax and be in a good mood.  Luckily, he was quick and nice and by 6:30 am I was a happy girl.  At that time I was checked again and I was 7cm! Woohoo!  As I was sitting up from being checked my water broke and I asked if it was clear - she said a sad... "no, meconium" :(.  I started crying.  I knew the NICU would be in the delivery room and that this could be a complication.  I had faith things would be ok, but its scary to think there COULD be something wrong.  I came to grips with everything and decided I should probably rest - which I kinda did while Matthew and Mom went and got something to eat. 

Around 8:30 am the nurse came in with an iv bag and informed us that the doctor wanted Brinlee born as soon as possible because of the meconium and much like the past couple of nights, my contractions were intense but too far a part for progress. She was pretty sure my body hadn't changed much since I was checked last so they started me on a low dose of pitocin and I informed the nurse that I progressed very quickly with it in my last labor    I tried to close my eyes and sleep but at 7cm I knew it might be soon.  Around 9:15 am (45 min later) I felt pressure and after being checked I was 9 1/2 cm and the doctor was called and told to hurry. The room quickly changed from a quiet, calm, dark environment to lights, camera, action.  I did 1 or 2 practice pushes and was then told to stop - baby girl was coming!  

Right before pushing hanging onto my coach! 

The doctor walked in and after a few pushes and 2 contractions later, our baby girl was born and quickly placed on my chest. 9:38am, 7lbs 7 oz, 19 3/4 inches. It was fast but calm.  Brinlee came out screaming and perfect.  Forget that NICU team, we didn't need them :) She lay on my chest for the next hour, latched on and nursed peacefully and we enjoyed this sweet time with our baby girl.  They didn't rush us, didn't do anything with her(except wipe her off decently) until we were ready to hand her over.  This was such a blessing and still my favorite part of her delivery.

 From there, they took her to the warmer and did all the necessary stuff.  Matthew held her for the first time and the sparkle in his eye warmed my heart.  Holding his baby girl - his smile went on for miles. We took our sweet time and the nurses were so great with being respectful of our time and our wishes. 

His shirt says "Brinlee's Dad"

A little later on my parents met her and we welcomed other family into the room as well. My parents were in charge of Paxton and they did a phenomenal job keeping him away from the hospital at inappropriate times and present for the right times.  Knowing Paxton was in the care of my parents was so reassuring and really gave us the ability to relax and focus on bonding with Brinlee.  We had Pax come in and meet her a few hours later and to my surprise he was so proud and happy.  It didn't last long, he was pretty interested in the curtains and all the family that was there to "see him" but regardless... I do think he understood that Brinlee was now here  :) 

Seeing sister for the first time 

Daddy and his babies :)

Grandparent Love and happiness 

My bug and I 

Aunt Kimmy was our first visitor! 

Ashley and Matthew with their kiddos - Nicole and Brinlee! 

The whole labor, delivery and hospital experience was wonderful. It's amazing what womens bodies do.  I remember laying in bed with her that evening and just marveling at the miracle of childbirth and how just hours before she was inside of me.  I was a complete hot mess after having Paxton, but this time around I felt so different.  I felt empowered and strong.  I think alot of that had to do with the fact I had been through it before, I knew what to expect and all my prayers and wishes for this labor and delivery had come true.  I was on cloud nine.  Matthew and I both had both an external and internal peace (sorry, I know that's a little heavy) that we didn't have when we had Paxton.  Don't get me wrong... I was tired and overwhelmed still, but not near like when I became a mom the first time around.  We didn't have too many visitors at the hospital Sunday or Monday and that allowed us to just snuggle our girl and frankly re-learn the ins and outs of a newborn      

Snuggle and Snooze at the hospital - we did both thank you very much. :) 

Paxton and I have a tight bond and once he had been to the hospital and in my room a few times, he got over the fear and weirdness of me being in the bed and he warmed up to the idea of lovin' on me.  My little bubba - Oh how I love him.    

Always a daddy's girl

Could not have done it without my amazing mom 

Big Brother gift

First family photo :)

Brinlee is the sweetest, calmest, snuggliest little thing. How we got so lucky I don't know, but I am so so thankful.  Our beautiful Brinlee is just perfect and while we are still getting to know her and learning how to manage life with two, we are so in love with her.  Her birth, while difficult at times, was wonderful and in the end, we were blessed with a healthy little girl to love and care for.  Paxton is learning how to be a big brother and that mommy and daddy still love him more today than yesterday.  I can hardly believe sometimes that 10 years ago Matthew and I were a few months into a love drunk relationship...dreaming with each other about our life goals.  Children were at the top of our list and every step we've taken I feel has been with the goal of starting a family at the forefront of our minds.  Well... here we are - All of this because the two of us fell in love.