January: the blur...

I'm pretty sure this month was a blur.  Our life has been the most sporadic and out of control its been in a long time and I am clinging to the Lord, my husband and family to get through it.  Whew.  

We laid to rest two sweet Grandmas this month.  My Grandma, Marjorie Eloise on January 18th and Matthews Grandma, Wanda on January 14th.  Yes, that was the same week. 

Matthews Grandma passed away fairly suddenly on January 12th.  Her life was a true example of selfless giving and sacrifice and she stepped into a role no Grandmother wants to but wholeheartedly would with the task of picking up where Matthews parent left off when they went to be with the Lord all too soon. She knew Paxton well and loved him dearly.  She did meet Brinlee and spent a little time with her.  We miss her but know she is so happy to be reunited with so many of the family members in our family gone too soon.  Her service was on January 14th and was beautiful. 

My grandma passed away very suddenly on December 4th.  She was able to meet Brinlee for a short time and although wasn't very verbal her last few days on earth, managed to say "Aw what a doll" when she met her for the first time. She knew Paxton well and loved him so very much- I am so very thankful for this.  As one of the most spiritual and Holy women I've ever known, she celebrated in the joy and blessing of having children with the birth of every child (she had 10), grandchild (I dont know how many of us there are) and Great grandchild (again I have no idea) she had.  When everyone else just said a sweet "congratulations" she marveled, praised God and rejoiced in my kids births.  I miss her terribly and although I know she is in Heaven happy and singing, I do miss her presence in our lives here on Earth.  I know my mom misses her terribly and that is hard.  We miss her and love her so much.   After cremation, our family had a service celebrating her life on January 18th and it was a beautiful ceremony.

So many wonderful memories... so many sad memories... all wrapped into one month.

With the sadness of unexpected grieving we also had SO SO SO much to be joyous and happy about... Its hard to find happiness in the midst of overwhelming sadness but the JOY of our Lord is our strength.  Joy and faith is what got us through.   

We poured our slab for the new house!! Woohoo! Paxton loved the concrete trucks and getting to be at work with daddy.  This was very early in the morning but we couldn't miss seeing this HUGE step take place! 

Brinlee was real enthused too! 

OH MY - the lips. I kiss them constantly.  

Little sister - first little smiles 

Sweet big brother

Play hard sleep hard.  \

Just so silly

Can I bottle up this cuteness and save it forever... 

A little comparison of Pax and Brinlee at the same age

Cousins Nic and Brinlee spent time at the hospital together - 3 weeks apart in age! 

First time in the two months Brinlee has been born that both kids were sleeping at the same time! 

My sweet Grandpa 

Big bow problems!

She licks everything! 

This is how we spent most of January... wanted to nurse and be held constantly!

Learning this balancing act business of two kids.  One on one time with Pax is crucial ... I crave it and so does he.  Going from one to two... its hard.  He wants me and only me and the same goes for Brinlee.  Bring intentional with our time together makes ALL the difference! 

Oh the dimple and sweet smiles.  This was Paxton's FAVORITE toy as an infant.  Its quickly proving to be Brinlee's.  

Fun day at the zoo! 

Zoo followed by a car show... Pax was worn out! 

Ha - they look alike here

And this is just about how I feel about you being 2 months old too Brinlee! Waaaaaaaaahhhhh! January was gone before I had a chance to capture it like I wanted.   

With loosing people you love comes the feeling of snuggling the ones you still have here on earth a bit tighter.  We are so over the moon in love with our babies... we are also so overwhelmed  - with love and just getting through each and every day.  God is so good and for that we are grateful.  I'm sure I will look back and laugh and cry about these times - but you know what? This craziness... this is what we've always wanted.  This is what we have asked for and prayed for - this is what life is all about.  Vowing to love on another and be here for one another through good times and bad, sickness and health.  Thank God for answered prayers... I wouldn't want it any other way with any other person.